Folks,
Entry into the squadron was less than grand alright,but once inside, I was accosted by an assorted set of goons with various
questions about name, school etc.On hearing about the school's
name, immediate query was about PI Muraleedharan, Jatinder singh(Lieut General now, I suppose)etc, a vigorous shake of the nut with the thought that they were probably popular across sqns and battalions,boy, how wrong I was!!
Guys, J Singh's schoolmate here, came the yell!!! A hard punch on the tummy followed with the order to get rolling pronto, and three others joining in to take extra care of me. So much for Jatinder, my ol' school senior and that too from a different Sqn and a diff Bn to boot, who had already passed out. Understand he was terror personified as Sarge and memory was not in short supply hereabouts.

Lesson two learnt--Never disclose your school,any kanyaputri patashala would do...that is if you valued your skin.
I was sent to the barber, who was more of a gardener….. A swish, swash, a chop-chop and a generous use of the lawn mower, Well,my head was ready in two mins flat, that wd have taken a minimum of 10 minutes in the civvy street. Shinde, the barber was standing aside and admiring his handiwork with total glee, whilst I didn't have the courage to look at myself in the mirror.

I probably was the last one for the barber and those goons of J singh’s fame were still around. On one of the hoodlum's query as to what took me so long, as the Thambi express was in the morn,I blurted the truth.....Oh, very smart was the reply.....No siree, before I could have the time to put my collar up or mentally thank Rajiv,another round of pummelling started ending with climbing the seventh heaven to hang on.

Lesson three---Never ever disclose the truth, if truth will skin
you....Boy, wasn’t I learning really fast around here!
Luckily, for me I didn't have to experience the ecstasy of the seventh heaven for long as all the first termers were mustered in the center lobby and the remainders were shooed off.

Rig... towels only, Event....Ceremonial march to the bath….

Ours was probably the last sqn and last course to follow this
practice. We were ordered off our towels and march off to the common bathrooms in the buff......To an outsider, it would look
repressive, no, siree me.... .There was no sexual angle involved, it was plain getting used to our own shame in the midst of our future
course mates/ colleagues/ brothers- in-arms and no spectators either
barring the DCC and the CSM (our foster parents).
The march, means there has to be a song to go with and song means a bit o' horsing around......
’Nanhe,Munhe bachhe tere Mutti mein kya hai(?),Mutti mein kya hai(?)’
Mutti mein hai Taqdeer hamara(!!),Taqdeer hamara(!!).. .
Went the chorus with appropriate actions and that I leave it to your
imagination as to what we the babies of the sqn had in our 'Mutti' that
was our 'Taqdeer' and how it must've proceeded and you could all laugh to your heart's content.
Now, the rest of the evening thru the night went into cleaning up
the cabins, bringin' it up to sparklin' condition, not ours......but all
those hoodlums' cabins who were kickin' us around till now (the ones who had their schoolmates were taking lift in their resp cabins and the two Bhutanese were spared which meant 90% went scot free).

Our own cabins remained the ever charming pigsty for a long time to come. Oh,Boy!! I missed the dinner,isn't, it?The yummies spread on the table and coming your way was nothing short of you turning into Pavlovian specimen.We, the Green horners, had all that and more,only the format was different. The Academy toast....... .A mixture of everything available on the table with a liberal dose of salt, stirred if you please....(James of the Bond fame,pardon me for borrowing your line) to a fine concoction. This is a cuisine one should experience in their lifetime.... ...There would be no requirement of dieting and will ne'er have constipation( food will refuse to go below the gullet, and you as a first termer have no choice but to send it down forcefully). First termer or not,nature has different views you see!!!What goes in, comes out the same way and probably much faster...... Well, there is a remedy too, water and gallons of it into your tummy.Guys,Dinner over!!!!
What next? Night PT. Both my CSM and SCC were those demo PT guys practicing around and we were to observe them and emulate them under Lancy Sundaram’s (scary lookin' guy ...even in broad daylight) guidance. You see we were to digest the dinner that never went in, in the first place. The DCC , was our savior, herded us back into the cabins at 2200hrs(but that was time sufficient for our cutie pie Sundaram to haul our asses over hot coals and balls fried to a crispy brown and he bid us a cheerful bye too with the promise of a morning pre-premuster at 0300hrs in front of his cabin)
Great ain't it? So much for the inaugural day, our academic session has not even begun.

I am sure others also would have had experiences on similar lines with only G sqn guys pipping every one else to the post. After all, weren’t they, the ones who gave me an insight into the fine art of sleeping ten minutes in a five minute break and sleeping whilst standing (sound effects inclusive).

This, I adapted later during my diving trainee and Instructor days, to sleep whilst floating in the water, and having catnaps during the limited breaks available, whilst renaming them with fancy words like Power sleep and Existence sleep etal.
Regards,
...........R/

With Nitin reminding me about ‘Rolling’ set me onto reminiscing the days when we were naïve or brats or crooks. Growing up was never easy but once well past,you really wonder if you did all those crazy things and was that really you !!!
'National Defence Academy' .....The pilgrimage passed off with me being known as Chandran.But that is not all, the common names that one got used to here were neither for keeps nor permanent, could denote any one and the names were totally the Academy property or shall I say propriety? It used to range from..... clot,twit,twit and a half, dope, idiot, bum,....the list is endless, but all of them werealways prefixed with 'You bloody' and rather liberally peppered with swearwords that would make even a blue blooded sailor blush.
Yes, there were special cases. Sirdars, speckies and worse still a specky sirdar....They were the first and always the worst hit in a
crowd/course as they were like homing on beacons, were identified and yelled at even from a quite a distance. I had three of them in my class, Manjeet, Labana and Mann with KJ Singh joining up whenever the classes were nearby.(I knew KJ since we were techies together in C, earlier).They would always be in the same squad, cycle or otherwise, all these were innocuous to the common eye.......but common was a term that has bypassed me,a long long ago........I found it odd that these guys would wait on each other, when time was brief between classes and at times you had to trek almost two km if the classes were in different blocks.

I did confront them and the prompt reply was, if there were more than one sird, and if none of us looked back, when yelled at, how can the sarge differentiate and persecute, no sarge wd say all three sirds come here, sound reasoning, But KJ bowled me saying, my glasses go into my pocket the moment I am with them. Now that led me to wonder about those wisecracks on sirdars!!! Weren't these sirds smart and adapting/evolving rather fast and NDA really ensured that they did.... conclusion was Sirdars from NDA were definitely smarter than Sukhi's sirdars from US of A..
While at the topic of NDA,how can one forget the first day.The course 48 that was.... or is rather unique,very close knit and so fond of each other,.....never knew that till we all crossed and came home to roost in our middle age, be it a Pondy, parrat, shiggaon, cjsingh,aksingh or my colleagues at DSSC ak anand,rameshrai, roychowdhry or the late Ravi mehta.....and now Ike&Ajith in the virtual/chat world with Manali in
person.....recently that is.Oh God I am digressing again, love for the 48 and the whiskey that is keeping me company you see!!
Well back to the first day....... previous day,or in fauji
parlance D-1, ie.18 jul 1972, I embarked on the then popular 'south express' named so since you had all the southies in one common train/comptt( mallus,tamils and some gultis/kannads) There were Sukumar,Murali, Ramani and everyone was downcast. My BIL had come to see me off and commented as to whether it was a train filled with recruits or snotnosed, homesick schoolgirls. I would normally have come up with some rather sharp retort, but I really was not upto his brand of jokes now that my morale was at an all time ebb. I was contemplating on my incarceration and wondering if I did it right. I was a medico student (all of three days) in the Madras medical
college(Dad had pulled some strings…..I suppose) and have I thrown up something I would regret, later. ...Those thick voluminous books were immediately dancin' in front of my eyes and a prompt 'No,Never' was the prompt reply from my conscience, that too in bold bloodred capitals,all of them!!!!!... well, the Docs and a host of would be patients would've heaved a huge sigh of collective relief, had they been around.
A brief bye-bye and the train took off.I found the amravati guys a bit too straight faced, in otherwords OG and speaking in low hushed tones. Loneliness and sadness was back. As the train reached Arakonam we had Manali, Krish, Cyriac, Unni, Binu, Ike..... (all class mates)joining up and I got a boost, they seem to be conditioned already with twelve odd hours behind.Once we reached Guntakal we had Deshpande(pondy) , Subbiah and Shiggaon (all ex-Bijapur) joining up...all of them were with us on the SSB and generally the morale was goin' up. It was back to horsing and hee hawing right thru.

Next day,a sunny wednesday morning, Poona station in sight and all those tails neatly went back, tucked betw'n the legs and moods back on the downswing again.....Whoever said sunny days brimmeth your cup of cheer would hasten to rewrite it, had he had one glance at the motley crowd that disembarked.
Apprehension and fear of the unknown was rather high and here is where dear Rajiv Manali stepped in.He huddled us together,explained to us that we were goin to get jacked any which way ,why not delay it?We were to report by 1800hrs at the latest and that is what we should be doing,why should we go in early and get screwed for an extra eight hours,instead shouldn't we be spending the last few hours of freedom watching movies and loafing....logic and very sound at that,my heart really bled and my head acceded at full throttle with my mind saying'What an idea,sirjee' .....,but then we had Binu,unni and Cyriac to contend with!! Well it was a No go.....a stalemate with Rajiv,Krish and I on oneside..... ......Finally it was Ike who tipped the scale and joined us for the movie.
After freshening up,luggage into cloakroom and off we went hunting.All the buses had its itinery written in Marathi, new place, funny language, hence we decided to go to the closest Theatre and our luck seemed to have taken a weekend too. The Movie there was an age old one,'Kagaz ke phool' a slow paced,rhona dhona kind. I was almost certain that Cyriac & co must have cursed us.
End of freedom.Trooped into the bus,entered the shrine.After filling a couple of forms,kitissue and a brief,I was sent off to my squadron with my faithful man friday(Nathu ram-surprisingly he seem to be promoted with every term I went up and used to constantly supply me with cigarettes …er..Beedies towards monthend) lugging around with the luggage.He kept on saying what not to do as we were approaching the battalion gate.
Lo, sight was not encouraging at all.Guys were doing to the bikes what the bikes were supposed to be doing,carrying and running around in their squadron premises,with some very unsavoury characters barking around.There were some familiar faces but in a hairdo that would shame even the hardcore niggers. Yes, I spotted dear Cyriac on one side, Binu,Sukumar and subbiah on the opposite squadron side with cycles above their heads and a doleful expression that would have a Meenakumari or a Dilip kumar give their right arms to etch the same expression on screen.
As I was watching the scenario unfold, all was quiet on my squadron front(Hunter) .....Calm before the storm, most likely,..... .yes,yes and yes.
But not for long,a loud yell from hunter, my future squadron, a guy with
a shining pate(yul brynner was a standard here, it seems)...."You bloody clot,what are you standing there with your thumb in your bum and brain switched to neutral? come here on the bloody Double,you twit !!!"(Capt Queeg of Caine Mutiny really seemed to be a hero around hereabouts). As I neared him, another hoodlum standing nearby asked me,if I knew 'Raindrops keep fallin' on my head'.Vague request,eh!! Not really.

I, like an idiot said yes, and when I sang it full throat two
tight slaps and a kick on the butt awaited me from Yul brynner..(BTW, Yul brynner was later cmdeBR Bhatia,one of the finest naval officers I have come across and a thorough gentleman to boot.God knows what NDA does to us when we were there!!).. 'Raindrops.. .. was the course's swansong for yul and his shiny pate.....

How was I to know that, anyway the hoodlum would've hauled me over coals, had I replied in the negative,'Damned if I did and damned if I didn't'..... ..

First lesson learnt,it is better to be damned if I didn't...... and when in doubt act like a dope.....and doubting was a cadet's birthright.
All this and I have not stepped into the sanctum sanctorum yet.
Guys,it is 1600hrs and the dawn is just breakin'. OK, another day, another time….stresses of Whiskey on the mind, you see!!!

Regards,

Ravi

All at Sea

Hi,
Just sailing into Kolkata, with the river pilot, a very typical Bengali Babu of the kit-pit variety, not wanting to disturb me (in actuality, why ask for trouble from Mr Trouble himself, must be his thought process …....I’ve been kicking ass around here, a bit, had become sick of their nit picking, one at home is sufficient) leaving me enough time in hand to jot down my ravings. The sea was really rough and I was in ballast, a lot of tossing and turning around for the last four days and who else can I rave and rant about it to.
Come September and the weather gods normally shine on this part of the world in their pristine avatar and in abundance at that. The isles were pretty, with a slight drizzle, the small hillocks covered with thick low hanging clouds and the waters in the harbour crystal clear and small islets with overhanging bushes, dotted within the harbour itself….. Getting in and out of the virgin harbour, with the crosscurrents, shallows and changing winds, that too on a single screw ship is tricky, but that is what I am being paid for anyway. The gaily attired women ,albeit not pretty, but who cared about their prettiness so long as they added colour to the surrounds and Mother Nature already at her charming best and in all her fineries. With the nights getting a bit clammy…… lolled off to the poop deck, with the rains barely caressing you, and a cool breeze giving you goose bumps all over, silhouette of the hillocks with an occasional light flickering, a faint smell of some logwood fire, dancing lights from the occasional passing fishing boats bouncing off the calm waters, stage all set and just about perfect for a deck chair lazy lounging to absorb the ambience and its total essence,…..scotch on the rocks and ol’ favourites…… (Songs, guys, don’t go thinking anything naughty, we are getting old now) rounded up the scenario….. …I did miss my better half and her hen groups along with those naval/pongo pals of mine, during the almost regular Barbecue&Bawdy songs, antakshari and Dumb charade sessions on the vizag ,fort kochi,carbyn’s cove beaches, the Pykara/rishikesh /Barmer camps. Hmmm, what will I not give for those heavenly days passed by!!! Well, all the same, evenings in the isles still very well spent minus all the fanfare of yore. In fact, I did chat up with my ol’ friends, just prior leaving, mentioning in the passing that I was just having a wonderful time, a virtual paid holiday etc.
As the saying goes, if it is good, it doesn’t stay long or it ain’t designed for you. I had to dump some pulses on a tiny Burmese isle and soon thereafter I sailed out on a nice sunny day. It was a day and a half later that sea turned rough and had my …lls in a vice, couldn’t scream either; after all it was the Sea lord, Mr Varuna(Lord Neptune) himself, at his mischievous best, turning nasty. I had been rather careful in avoiding storms, cyclones, depression etal,but not this time.(BTW,the latest cyclone off the US coast is named after one of our own batch typhoons…Ike) Two days out at sea with a depression plonk on my route and threatening to come my way. Boy hasn’t the Sea lord planned it real well for me this time, no turning around, no safe port and quite a promising jam session to boot. A very light ship and in ballast, I was. Caught with the sea beam on, winds on the bow resulting in a corkscrew motion, a veritable nightmare? Yes!! Imagine a combination of merry go round and the giant wheel that you have seen at the fairs, that too in perpetual motion for four continuous days on end with the speeds reading ‘slow & very fast’ with no inkling of what next!! By now you should have got a fair idea of what I am talking about. You take a forkful of food to put in your mouth and it ends as a reverse sweep onto the bulkhead behind, giving a fair competition to that master blaster Sachin. So much for the sea and it isn’t over yet, guys.
I anchored off , at Sand heads on arrival, In spite of the rough weather didn’t drag one bit, but whilst picking up lost my anchor flukes to the lord. Very good care taken by the good ol’ Lord for all my dodging prior, I suppose. The good lord seem to be actually saying with a chuckle,” Finally Gotcha you, Have a good time ol’ chap, but don’t ever go make a song and dance about it” reminding me of the cat and the canary story, that You must’ve all heard about but cross-refer the above by juxtaposing the sea lord and I in lieu and am sure you guys will be laughing away with all expenses paid for, by yours truly!!!
But have I learnt my lesson having been Mauled, battered, lost my flukes and still spinning around like a Zombie!! No-go!! Here I am recounting every bit of it to you all. I am cocksure that Mr Varuna is also well aware of my tom-tomming, computer savvy or not, and awaiting the next opportune moment to get my back to the wall. Well, I will cross the bridge once I come to it, after all the sea lord and I do have some common traits, you see………. Temperamental, unpredictable, never forgetting but always forgiving ….and the last trait is, what I intend cashing in on.
The occasional ‘Dumb Charades’ that, I have with the sea lord is what keeps my Adrenalin primed and helps me going, guys!!!
Ciao, have a great week.

------------R*